


You is Thor-Proof (Tony Had No Choice)

by celtic7irish



Series: Avengers and AIs [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2571509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celtic7irish/pseuds/celtic7irish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony went back to trying to make You Thor-proof.  For reasons entirely unbeknownst to the engineer, You had decided that Thor was his favorite Avenger.  Tony had done his damned best to get the bot to join his brother Dummy in following Bruce around like an overeager puppy, but that hadn't worked at all.  Barring that, he had hoped that the bot would prefer Steve, or Clint, or even the scary Natasha.  But no, of course not.  Instead, You chose the thunder god that could fry his circuits with a touch, which he had done, twice.  Tony had banned the god from the lab after the second time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You is Thor-Proof (Tony Had No Choice)

It was storming again. How anybody could tell down here in the secure solitude of Tony's lab, he hadn't a clue. But You was acting up, restless and loud, and Tony had threatened the bot more than once. "Look, You," he snarled. "If you don't _stay put_ and let me finish these upgrades, I'm going to let Thor use you for target practice for Mjolnir. Do I make myself clear?" The threat worked the opposite of a deterrent, and You danced around him, dodging his grasping hands and the screwdriver he was holding. "Dammit, You!" he snapped, frustrated.

 

 _"Sir, if I might make a suggestion,"_ JARVIS piped up. _"Perhaps if You is allowed to watch the storm, he will be more amenable to the upgrades?"_

 

Tony rolled his eyes. "That's sort of the _point_ of the upgrades, JARVIS," he replied. "This stupid bot of mine is bound and determined to hang around Thor. And I don't care if bots and electricity go together normally or not, Thor is not a power source for anything."

 

JARVIS didn't reply, and Tony went back to trying to make You Thor-proof. For reasons entirely unbeknownst to the engineer, You had decided that Thor was his favorite Avenger. Tony had done his damned best to get the bot to join his brother Dummy in following Bruce around like an overeager puppy, but that hadn't worked at all. Barring that, he had hoped that the bot would prefer Steve, or Clint, or even the scary Natasha. But no, of course not. Instead, You chose the thunder god that could fry his circuits with a touch, which he had done, twice. Tony had banned the god from the lab after the second time.

 

Tony grumbled under his breath as he managed to finally unscrew You's access panel and get to the wiring underneath. His plan was to insulate the wiring without tampering with the bot's programming or basic structure. He didn't want to _change_ You, just protect him.

 

"J, you've got You's programming, right? Just in case this goes sideways," he muttered mostly to himself. Normally, Tony was cocky and assured, but he wouldn't risk the life of one of his bots just to prove to himself that he knew exactly what he was doing. The bots had all died at least once, when Killian had blown up his Malibu home and sent them into the ocean. And then Thor had overwhelmed You's circuits twice now, shutting him down. Fortunately, JARVIS kept a constant backup of the programming for all three AI units, accounting for their evolving intelligence. Oh, none of them would ever be as autonomous as JARVIS, of course, but he had designed them - all of them - to learn. And learn they did. Except, apparently, in cases like this.

 

The AI answered him a moment later. _"Of course, sir. A backup of You's programming was created seven seconds ago. You may proceed with upgrades when ready."_ Without waiting any more, Tony reached in and shut down You's motor skills, forcing the bot to stay still. You would probably be upset with him later, but he had been too energetic, and Tony was almost afraid that he'd slip and end up hurting the bot unnecessarily.

 

 _"Sir, You wishes for me to inform you that he does not appreciate the physical restrictions you have put on him, and he would like to know when you will be finished,"_ JARVIS indicated, right on time.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. His AI was always so polite. If he had been strapped down and unable to move, he'd have a lot more to say than that he didn't appreciate it. "I'll be done when I'm done," he mumbled through the screwdriver currently in his mouth. He patted the bot's strut reassuringly. "Don't worry, bud. After this, I'll let you go see Thor, okay? Maybe he'll make you your own personal thunderstorm."

 

He didn't get a reply, but then again, he hadn't really been expecting one, either.

 

He heard the sound of Dummy approaching behind him, and grinned over at the bot. Butterfingers was right behind him, and when Dummy stopped, the other bot ran into him before stopping with a startled whine. Tony chuckled. "Your brother will be fine," he assured them. "But if he's going to play around with the god of thunder, he kind of needs a bit more protection."

 

Dummy made an inquiring noise that was echoed by his brother, and Tony's grin widened. In short order, he had the other two bots fetching and carrying, helping him to protect their youngest sibling. Content, Tony turned back to You, losing himself in the work.

 

**************

 

It took over thirty-eight hours before Tony was sure – mostly sure – that You was as protected as he could make him. The bot was more or less a rolling lightning rod, except that it wouldn’t actually attract said lightning, just ground and disperse it. Unfortunately, Tony had no way to test its efficiency against Thor’s abilities without setting up a live test.

 

Thor, for his part, seemed delighted at the prospect of having a robotic companion that he couldn’t inadvertently short out. He had felt badly the first time it had happened, and had been depressed enough after the second time that it had rained for _days_. It had finally taken a no holds barred sparring match with Steve and Tony promising to find a way to prevent that from happening again to improve his mood.

 

Now, Thor stood just inside the door to Tony’s lab, eyeing him and the bot standing quietly behind him warily. “Friend Anthony?” he asked. “JARVIS informed me that you wished to see me and guided me here. I hope that I have not overstepped.” He was frowning lightly, and Tony realized with surprise that he was genuinely concerned that he was breaking a rule somehow, even though JARVIS had brought him down here specifically on Tony’s orders.

 

He smiled at the other man, hoping to ease him a bit. “Naw, big guy,” he disagreed. “You’re fine. I just thought this would be easiest for everybody.” Now Thor looked really confused, and Tony glanced back at the bot standing behind him. “All right, buddy, you’re up,” he said quietly.

 

Immediately, You beeped in excitement and trundled as rapidly as possible towards the thunder god, who stumbled back a step, his eyes wide. “What is going on, friend Anthony?” he asked, looking to Tony for answers.

 

The genius gave him a smug grin. “Go ahead, Point Break. You won’t hurt him,” he promised. “Stupid bot was determined to see one of your thunderstorms. So I made it so he could,” he shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. And to him, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean that he was completely oblivious. He knew how much this would mean to the both of them. Well, maybe not Thor, but he definitely knew that it would make You happy.

 

Thor didn’t move from the doorway, so Tony stepped aside instead. As soon as You had a clear path to the Asgardian, he took off, whirring and clicking, his claw snapping open and shut as he rushed towards the blonde. Thor shifted uneasily, but didn’t back off, and Tony grinned proudly. From Thor’s stories, backing away from an approaching enemy was tantamount to branding yourself forever a coward. Besides, You wasn’t an enemy.

 

The bot stopped just shy of ramming into the thunderer, and shifted his camera to look up at him, making a questioning noise. Thor reached out tentatively and touched the bot. Nothing happened, and Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s not going to work,” he pointed out. “Call up lightning, or electricity, or whatever it is you do. You can do that without your hammer, can’t you?” he asked pointedly.

 

Thor looked over at him warily, and then did as Tony had asked. Tony could practically hear the sizzle of electricity as Thor called lightning to his fingers, and he grinned triumphantly. “JARVIS, I hope you’re recording this. And tell Barton he owes me twenty bucks,” he stated with satisfaction. It had been an on-going bet between them whether Thor could call lightning on his own merits, or if he needed Mjolnir to do it. Tony had just won, hands down.

 

 _“Of course, sir,”_ JARVIS replied dryly.

 

On the other side of the lab, You was beeping excitedly, rolling in chaotic, sloppy circles around Thor, who was laughing with that deep, rolling rumble of his, that reminded Tony of pounding rain and booming thunder. His grin softened into something gentler, more affectionate.

 

A low inquiring noise sounded nearby, and Tony looked over at Dummy and Butterfingers, who were watching their brother curiously, but not approaching. They had both been shocked by the Asgardian prince before, though not nearly as badly as You had been, so they were understandably wary. “Don’t worry, guys,” Tony reassured him. “I’ll do the same for you two.” Dummy clicked at him in refusal, retreating back to his work station. If Tony didn’t know any better, he’d almost say the bot was sulking.

 

He raised an eyebrow and turned to the other bot in the room. “How about you, Butterfingers?” he asked, waggling his fingers at the bot. Butterfingers shook his head, freezing momentarily as he knocked a soldering iron off the worktable. Tony just sighed as the bot slunk away to join his brother. “Fine, fine,” he grumbled. It wasn’t like it was necessary to make them Thor-proof, not like it had been for You, but even he had to admit that it probably would come in handy someday. Maybe they’d let him do the upgrades later anyhow.

 

“Come, friend You!” Thor exclaimed. “I have heard that you enjoy thunder and lightning, and the fair Lady Natasha has requested the same of me, so you might witness the strength of the mighty Mjolnir!” He turned to face Tony. “And will the Man of Iron be joining us as well, friend Anthony?” he asked jovially.

 

Tony didn’t bother to suppress his grin – Thor liked to talk fancy, especially when he had a willing audience. Fury had given up trying to make debriefings involving the Asgardian anything less than epic ballads of bravery, might, and wit. There wasn’t a single Avenger that could not like Thor, and Tony rather suspected that the god of thunder knew it, too, if the patently mischievous look he got in turn was any indication.

 

“You heard the big guy, J,” he said instead. “Shut it down, I’ve got plans. Dummy, Butterfingers, try not to destroy anything. And so help me, You, if you make a mess of my carpets again, I am going to drop you into a vat of bleach, just see if I don’t,” he threatened the bot. You made a hissing noise at him, then hid behind Thor’s bulk.

 

The prince chuckled, reaching back to pat You firmly. “It is all right, metal one,” he reassured the bot. “The Man of Iron jests.”

 

“I do not,” Tony insisted vehemently. Thor just gave him a look, and he huffed. “All right, already, I jest,” he grumbled.

 

Thor clapped him on the shoulder, sending him stumbling for a few steps until he regained his balance, then throwing one heavy arm across Tony’s shoulders. “Then let us go and partake in merry making!” he declared excitedly.

 

Tony sighed in resignation, watching as You traipsed ahead of them, eager to finally be out in a thunderstorm that might not actually fry his circuits. But Tony knew that JARVIS would keep a copy of the most recent data, just in case. But it wouldn’t be necessary, because Tony was awesome. And, really, it wasn’t like he’d had a choice.

 

As Thor stepped out onto the deck of the Avengers Tower, Mjolnir already swinging, electricity singing through the air and dark clouds stirring overhead, Tony was joined by the other Avengers. They had food and drink in their hands.

 

Barton slipped him a twenty dollar bill with a grin, then nodded towards the two companions standing outside in the pouring rain. “Is You gonna be okay?” he asked.

 

Tony waved off his concern. “Yeah. He’ll be fine,” he dismissed. “I fixed it.” He still watched the bot carefully, though, for any sign that something was wrong.

 

Outside, You tilted his head up towards the rain and lightning, finally calm as the storm raged and the Avengers watched.

 

Tony smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last one in this series, for now. Unless I can find someone/thing for Natasha. I'd love any suggestions. Thanks for reading!


End file.
